How Important is Character to Your Success?

One of the 25 Most Important Lessons I’ve Learned

A refined character is the key to achieving success and fulfillment—this is one of the most significant lessons I’ve gathered throughout my career.

To provide some context, I’ve spent over 30 years as a consultant, speaker, and trainer, collaborating with more than 500 B2B sales teams. Recently, a client suggested that I compile a list of the 25 most important lessons I’ve learned. This inspired me to reflect deeply, resulting in an extensive list. To focus it, I applied four criteria:

1. The lesson had to be meaningful, with the ability to significantly impact individuals, sales teams, or businesses—it should not be superficial.
2. It needed to stem from my own experiences, not derived from books or borrowed ideas. I wanted lessons learned in the real world.
3. The lesson had to be validated by practical experience, not theoretical or idealized notions.
4. I needed to advocate for its truthfulness, making it a principle I strongly believe in. Following this process allowed me to refine my list to 25 lessons. Each lesson is presented without any specific ranking in importance, and I’ve completed several write-ups available at the end of this post. The next lesson on my list is: “A refined character is the ultimate path to success and fulfillment.”

Let’s start by exploring what we mean by “refined character.”

According to Google, character is defined as “the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual.” We often refer to these as character traits, which include our habitual behaviors manifesting through our thoughts, feelings, and attitudes reflected in the choices we make.

Think of character as an extension of one’s personality—how an individual typically behaves. A person may be outgoing, honest or deceptive, proud or humble, thankful or resentful, among other traits. The unique combination of these traits shapes a person’s character.

While much of our character is established during childhood, we can choose to intentionally cultivate specific desirable traits as we develop. We are not passive observers in our character formation; for instance, if we are shy, we have the power to change that.

However, change is challenging, and many people resist it. As James Allen once remarked, “Men are often interested in improving their circumstance, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound.”

A refined character consists of traits that we have consciously integrated into our personalities. Not just any traits, but those identified over generations as more admirable and conducive to success and fulfillment. The Bible, for instance, encourages Christians to cultivate the ‘fruit of the spirit,’ which includes love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22–23, NIV).

While other guides exist, this serves as a solid foundation. The idea is that these traits can lead to a fulfilling life and can be nurtured through a partnership between God’s spirit and our efforts.

To lead a successful life, then, one must seek to develop a higher caliber of traits—pursuing a refined character. Historically, respected leaders have supported this notion. For example, Martin Luther King Jr. emphasized the importance of being judged by one’s character rather than superficial traits.

In recent times, however, it seems that society has shifted its focus away from the significance of character towards more superficial attributes. We are urged to prioritize hiring based on skin tone, ethnicity, or gender rather than character and competence. Accomplishments rooted in self-discipline and commitment have been overshadowed by other qualities.

The ramifications of this shift permeate our society.

On an individual level, the pursuit of success tied to external circumstances, as James Allen noted a century ago, clouds our ability to cultivate a refined character. When we blame our circumstances on others, we relinquish the responsibility of personal growth. This avoidance can lead to lifelong frustration and bitterness.

As you reflect on your life, remember:

Watch your thoughts; they become words.

Watch your words; they become actions.

Watch your actions; they become habits.

Watch your habits; they forge your character.

Watch your character; it shapes your destiny.

In seeking fulfillment, consider a pursuit of refined character as an essential journey.

In businesses and organizations, the original mission often becomes overshadowed by the push for diversity. Instead of striving to excel by providing outstanding services and products through motivated individuals, the emphasis shifts to focusing on superficial traits within the workforce. When the goal of becoming the best fades, mediocrity often takes its place.

Having observed over 500 sales forces from an outsider’s perspective, it’s clear that despite the claims made by politicians, media figures, and social media influencers, character truly matters. The most successful salespeople exhibit high levels of integrity, while the best sales managers are driven by uplifting motivations. The most effective companies are led by individuals of strong character.

When people dwell on external circumstances and blame others for their challenges, they often fall into mediocrity, leading to bitterness and frustration. A thriving business cannot rely on employees who see themselves as victims.

While government may tolerate—and sometimes even endorse—mediocrity, and institutions may embrace a portion of employees disinterested in character, businesses cannot afford such leniency. Without a commitment to fostering refined character, a business is destined for mediocrity and eventual failure.

At the societal level, when we neglect refined character as a core value, we regress. We risk returning to a time reminiscent of the Middle Ages, when emotional rhetoric dictated standards, and individuals were judged by their lineage rather than their achievements. It took centuries for humanity to progress beyond that mindset, and sadly, the disregard for character represents a step backward. Alarmingly, the United States is trending downward on almost all indicators of a healthy society, moving toward mediocrity.

This underscores one of the most significant lessons I’ve learned over three decades of consulting: “A refined character is the ultimate path to success and fulfillment.”